I was the other woman

Someone decided to stood up and wrote her perspective from the other side – The other woman aka the mistress. As a catholic, I find it hard to imagine about stealing other people’s other partner. Well, she tried. Here are 5 hard lessons she learnt that for dating another man who’s spoken for.

Lesson #1: It’s about sex, not love
Face it. The hard truth is that it is sex most of the time.

As romantic as a head-over-heels love affair can first seem, it ultimately devolves into tawdry and quick assignations during his lunch hour or as his post-work workout. He already has a relationship and simply doesn’t have the time to cultivate another one. Granted, affair sex is almost inherently hot because of its forbidden element, but once that wears off, you’re feeling alone and empty.

Lesson #2: Don’t call him, he’ll call you
He is another woman’s man. You are the third party and do not deserve his attention.

“What I hated most about having an affair was that I couldn’t reach my lover when I wanted to,” gripes Katya G., 29, from New York City. “I couldn’t call his office because he didn’t want anyone there to know about me or have any suspicions and, of course, I didn’t even have his home number. And if he didn’t want to talk to me, all he had to do was turn off his cell phone. It drove me crazy that I’d have to wait for him to call me back when it was convenient for him.” .

Lesson #3: Saturday night? Try Wednesday afternoon
No open relationship under the sun. There is nothing upright nor righteous about stealing another married man.

“We could never go out, especially on the weekends,” says Sue. “Obviously, Saturday night was date night for him and his wife, so there was no way that was happening. Mainly, he’d come over to my place sometime during the week and we’d maybe get a few hours to hang out together. Those were our dates.”

Lesson #4: You’ll get plenty of alone time
Friends will not be as accomodating when they learn that you are a third-party. Loneliness is the key here, associated with elusivity most of the time. Be prepared to sacrifice your schedule to fit into his life.

It was very isolating to not be able to share something so huge, and emotionally painful, that was going on in my life with my friends. At the same time, I was so obsessed with when I’d be able to see him again that I freed up my schedule entirely, forgoing time with friends, so I could be available when he was. And that’s just sad.

Lesson #5: Get ready for gut-wrenching guilt
Your conscience will be reminding you that this is adultery. You are basically stealing time from another woman so as to obtain his companionship while knowing full well that you are causing harm to another woman.

 I think that’s what eventually led me to breaking off the affair. I couldn’t deal with the guilt of it and the harm I was causing another woman, whether she knew about it or not. I also knew he’d never leave her.

Via MSN Dating & Personals